Obituary of Maureen Jude Duffy

Maureen Jude Duffy Maureen Jude, the fourth child of Mary and Dan Stubbing, was born on September 20, 1936. Mary’s pregnancy was a difficult one and the prognosis was not good. Mary and Dan prayed to St. Jude, the saint of desperate causes, for a healthy baby. When Maureen was born, she was the picture of healthy and Jude became her middle name. In Maureen’s early years most people knew her as ‘Judy’ or ‘Jude’. Judy’s dad, Dan Stubbing (1897 - 1967) was a Navy veteran of World War I and worked for over forty years as an office manager in a Manhattan law firm. Mary (1900-1970) was a full time Mom for most of her life, but took an office job in the 1950s to help pay the bills. Maureen’s (Judy’s) siblings were Dick (June 13, 1930), Jac and Jill, twins (September 25, 1931) and Ed (November 25, 1942). Maureen (Judy) grew up in Brooklyn at 1659 Troy Avenue. She loved Brooklyn and was always proud to hear a celebrity mention that she (Barbara Streisand) or he (Neil Diamond) grew up in Brooklyn and loved Brooklyn as much as Judy did. Judy went to St. Vincent Ferrer Grade School on East 37th Street in Brooklyn. The Dominican Nuns in their white habits and black veils left quite an impression on her. Judy would meet with members of her grade school graduating class of 1950 every few years. At the last luncheon eleven were present and accounted for. Judy went to Stella Maris (‘Star of the Sea’ - a title for Mary, the Mother of Jesus) High School in Rockaway, Queens. Two high school friends became lifelong friends. Bobby Cook, a year older than Judy, lived next door to Judy. In their teenage years Judy and Bobby would hang out together on the stop, go to the movies, go to dances at St. Vincent Ferrer and share chocolate egg creams at the corner candy store. Could it be? Could they one day be … When Judy graduated from Stella Maris, she told Bobby what he had suspected, but never wanted to hear: Judy proudly decided to become a Dominican sister. At age eighteen, Judy boarded a train to Louisville, Kentucky, where she attended college at St. Catharine's. Through life's influences, Judy decided that her passion would be to join the Sister's of St Catharine. Judy became Sister Mary Richard and taught in grade schools on the south side of Chicago and in Lima, Ohio. Several of her schools were in low income areas and that was fine with Judy: she loved the children. One of her students in Lima became a lifelong friend and one of Judy’s many telephone-pals who would call her every week. She visited Judy several times, including her 75th birthday and last year as well. In the convent Judy met Theresa Gilbride (Sister Scholastica (the patron saint of nuns)). They became lifelong friends. Judy and Theresa left the convent around the same time in the late 1960s. Judy returned home and became a grade school teacher at St. Stephen’s Lutheran School in Brooklyn where she taught for 20 years. Judy took care of her Mom in her final years. Around 1970, Theresa came to lived with Judy on Troy Avenue. Theresa taught at St. Thomas Aquinas grade school for 45 years. In 1973, Maureen (Judy) met the love of her life, Charlie Duffy. They were married in 1977. Charlie had a son, Charlie Junior, from his first marriage. In a few years Maureen and Charlie became the proud parents of Patrick (’78) and Mary Theresa (’79). They lived on East 45th Street in Brooklyn until the Lord called for Charlie, a loving Catholic, a loving husband, a loving father, on June 10, 2007. Maureen taught at St. Jude’s Grade School in Canarsie from 1989 to 2006 and has kept in contact with several friends she taught with. After Charlie died, she returned to her original house on Troy Avenue where Theresa lived, now widowed after the death of her beloved husband, Tom Cook. The last ten years of Maureen’s life have been … difficult; some would say … impossible. Diabetes wreaked its havoc. Dialysis three times a week for eight and half years. Amputations. Crisis after crisis. A stroke. the hospitalizations. The constant rehabs. The loss of independence. The loss of mobility. Yet, Maureen, in every telephone conversation, every visit, would continually shift the focus from herself and ask, “What’s new in your life?” A gracious gesture from a courageous woman. The conversations: Over the last year Ed and Judy would talk almost every day. Ed’s goals were simple enough: listen, encourage, love. Biblical readings for the Mass that day were frequent; as were funny stores (a strong suit with Judy) … discussions of news events … issues regarding the Catholic Church … family related news … a decade of the rosary. What follows is a combination of quotes and paraphrases from several of those conversations. “Judy, I’m taking a class at a church and the opening question was this: What is the meaning of life? How would you answer that? “To know, love and serve God in this life … and to be happy with God forever in the next life.” “Judy, how would you complete this statement, I believe in …” “Family. Our family growing up and our family now, today. It’s so important to keep the family together. So important.” “Anything else?” “I believe in … the United States. People should love this country more than they do. People should appreciate all the good things this country has done.” “Can you identify the happiest times in your life?” “Charlie. Patrick, Mary and Charlie. My marriage and our children and grandchildren. They were the happiest time. And also … the twelve years in the convent. A wonderful sense of community in the convent. That made me happy as well.” “Are you afraid of dying?” Judy smiled. “No.” “Why?” “Charlie will be waiting for me.” And so … Maureen/Judy crossed over to the Lord and Charlie on January 3, 2015. A special thank you to: All of Maureen’s friends and relatives who have been so kind to her throughout her life, but especially over the last ten years when she needed them most. The telephone became the vehicle for a beautiful corporal work of mercy: visiting the sick. Friends from grade school, the convent, St. Jude’s School, parishioners from St. Vincent Ferrer and relatives from every generation … all lessened the burden for a struggling fighter. A special thank you to her son, Charlie, his wife, Harriet and their daughter, Cassie. A special thank you to her son, Patrick, his wife, Joanne and their children, Brianna and Aidan. A special thank you to her daughter, Mary, her husband, Mike and their children, James, Erin, Marygrace and Charlie. Judy has lived with Mary and Mike for the last two years. Difficult years for everyone. Yet … the most beautiful of years if sacrifice, if love, are considered beautiful. I have never seen such love: Mary and Mike, with four children under eleven, with two full time jobs, with taking care of Theresa who is dying in one room and Mom in another room … the gold standard has been set for all of us. God bless all of you for the goodness within you. Love, Ed, Lu & Dan Stubbing